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Giving birth outside of the system?

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(@lilysings)
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Joined: 2 years ago

Hello everyone. I think the title speaks for itself, but we (spouse and I) are expecting a baby. Our previous children have had the “normal” birth reports, which lead to birth certificates and social security cards. Does anyone have any advice/knowledge if we wanted to explore the pros/cons of not going that route with this birth? Also, if anyone had any connections to a competent midwife in the SW MI area, that would be great as well. There is a licensed midwife we used in the past, and if all else fails, we will try to go with her again. 🙂

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(@chaddillac)
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Joined: 1 year ago

If you give birth in Michigan a licensed midwife would be breaking the law by not reporting the birth of your baby, unfortunately, you would need to find an underground one or go to another state without licensing laws. Funny enough I live in sw mi, and I had a baby back in may, I don't think you can be forced to get a ss number or birth certificate though, I know I didn't want one but she did so the birth certificate only has her name. I do have a great midwife, we saw her in sterling heights but she has other offices she works out of I think closer to royal oak.

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(@lilysings)
Joined: 2 years ago

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Posts: 4

@chaddillac thank you for the confirmation, this was basically my understanding as well. My spouse wants to go the underground route, but I am more unsure. I am having a difficult time researching the pros and cons of having an unregistered birth.

 

Too bad we aren’t closer to the SE MI area, we would look into that midwife! We did have a good midwife with our last birth, and feel like that’s what we will probably end up doing again. I can only imagine what she will say when I ask if she can do my home birth when I’m halfway through without having done any societally-normal prenatal care. 😅

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(@chaddillac)
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Joined: 1 year ago

Lol I don't live in sw mi, I live in southEAST Michigan so never mind that.

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(@mjgoedderz)
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Joined: 4 years ago

I gave birth to our daughter at home, unassisted with no midwife or doula present. We also did all of the "prenatal care" ourselves. We read The Unassisted Baby by Anita Evensen, and prepared accordingly. I will be having any future births the same way. Unassisted is definitely not the right choice for everyone, but it's important to know that its an option!

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(@lilysings)
Joined: 2 years ago

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Posts: 4

Wow, that's amazing! So much respect for you and your husband! I don't know why I can't seem to be okay with that choice for myself. Both of my births were unmedicated, and this one will be as well, but I am still worried about it just being my spouse and my support person. So far we've done everything ourselves, and I haven't had any socially traditional prenatal care (over halfway at this point), so it's literally just the birth part that I'm.... stressed about. 

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(@lilysings)
Joined: 2 years ago

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Posts: 4

@mjgoedderz Hi again. After some thinking and talking to my husband about your post, I have so many questions (if you’ll put up with these). 

 

What’s were the pros/cons that made you decide to give birth without a doctor/midwife? 

 

Long term, what are you envisioning for your parenting choices and child? For example, I am told, “oh, if you don’t get a social security number for your child it will be harder for them to get a job later in life.”

 

This book you recommend, does it also go through the birthing process as well as the prenatal? (Sorry, I haven’t looked into it at the library yet).

 

Do you mind if I ask what state you’re in? Did that help persuade or dissuade any of your decisions in this matter?

 

How did/has your family responded to this? Did you have any other support people with you?

 

Part of what might be slowly helping me wrap my mind around the idea of doing this without a “licensed” personnel, is that this is my third birth, and both others were ver uncomplicated, no issues. Any discomforts that arose we used homeopathy, which worked wonders, so I’ll definitely be doing that again. 

 

Sorry for all the questions, if you are able to answer I would appreciate it! This is certainly an interesting topic, and how often do you get to talk to someone who has done this? 👍

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Posts: 5
(@shanice)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago

Just do a free birth, you don't need a midwife. Or get a traditional birth attendant/companion and you don't have to worry about the birth being reported. 

 

You don't have to worry about it being just you, your husband and your support person. Physiological births outside hospitals are incredibly safe. Especially for baby. Being born in a hospital causes so much trauma to mom and baby. Even a good midwife usually puts pressure on mom to birth under a certain amount of time. Guess what... that pressure is what stops birth. 

Your body knew how to make the baby, it knew how to grew the baby, and it will know how to birth the baby.

 

You don't have to tell your family your birth plans. Rachel Reeds book is really good, Sara Wickham is great, the free birth society, unassisted birth I believe is the IG name of the mom who free birthed 7 kids. Billie Harrigan. You should actually do a consult with her. You'll probably get all the information you need to feel comfortable in a hour or two of talking to her. 

 

We are taught to fear birth but we shouldn't. You can also take a course through spinning babies.

 

Also you don't have to do everything yourself. It's amazing to have women around you during this time. Get a doula, post partum doula, call your girlfriends to support you. 

Traditional birth attendants, attend your birth instead of a midwife. They have skills and training in physiological births.

 

I'm in Canada and here you can register the birth without getting a birth certificate. You probably can do the same. What I would be concerned about if there wasn't any record is that there wouldn't be any proof this baby was mine. I believe but could be wrong, registering the birth isn't like a birth certificate where you make a contract with the Govt.

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