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Wacky Childhood Stories

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xjdjalwkebkakns
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Posting this in The Hardest Pills to Swallow section because I feel like weird childhood stuff can be a tough pill to swallow.

Anyhow! Did your parents work for the government, hospitals, or any other agency where they were around weird stuff? Was your grandfather a freemie? Did you see UFO's, ghosts, lights, or any high strangeness as a kid? Did you live in a strange part of the country with paranormal phenomena? Did you grow up in a religion where you were brainwashed? I always assumed my childhood was "normal" because my physical needs were met, but now at almost 40 years old I've come to realize that my normal wasn't very normal after all.

BTW - I'm big into learning about various forms of mind control, and I've spent many years revisiting my childhood asking the question - organic or inorganic? Were the weird things that happened in my life organic, naturally occurring events? Or were there unseen forces/people pulling strings in order to push my life in one direction or another? (Think Tavistock.) (Of course, does it even matter if there were? Honestly, no. But it's fun and healing for me to analyze my childhood in this way.)

When I was born my dad was working on government contracts for Raytheon and TI. Around 2-3 years old, my dad was transferred to the toy department and I became an unofficial toy tester. My dad would bring home all of the TI toy prototypes for me to play with and he would keep track of the glitches. I had dolls with animatronic heads attached to electrical boxes with no bodies and all kinds of wacky stuff. Not gonna lie - it was awesome, I loved my job as the TI toy tester, but from a mind control perspective, this put me in a precarious position as I could have easily been tested on/programmed from an early age. (PS: I grew up to be an electronic musician, surprise surprise.)

My paternal grandfather was a Freemason and my paternal grandmother was an Eastern Star. They lived on Bob Hope Lane (hellooo mind control programming) in Florida near Eglin Airforce Base. My grandfather, who served in the Navy during WW2, was in a motorcycle group and (for whatever reason) the US Air Force decked out their helmets with all sorts of high tech communication gear. I have a very specific memory of being put in a canoe with my grandfather late at night, and I remember being afraid of the Florida snakes and alligators. I don't know where we went or what happened after being put in the canoe, but from a Freemasonic-mind-control perspective, one can assume what *might* have happened. For what it's worth, I can still remember and feel dreams I had as a child, and this memory is not from a dream.

When I was about 8-9 years old I started seeing UFO's. The first one I saw was in our backyard in Lubbock. It was small and rectangular, looked like it could only fit 1-2 people, with red and green lights. It came out of nowhere, swooped down, hovered and watched a friend and I play on the swing set one night. I've seen other things since then, mostly just lights though, nothing as in my face as this experience.

On top of growing up in a weird Freemasonic-tech house, my parents joined a hardcore Falwell-style evangelical baptist (cult) church where I was subjected to sexual and spiritual abuse for 10+ years. The pastor of our church would later go on to work with the US Govt in Washington DC. His son currently owns a church down the street from the Whitehouse. I'm 99% positive that a deacon from this church was my sexual abuser and now he gets paid to dress up as Santa Clause every year... my sister even takes my little nephews to go see him during the holidays. Awesome, right? Gotta love cult country!

I was also sent/subjected to (lol) many many many kids camps where lots of mind control programming has been known to take place. My mom made me go to sleep away Girl Scout camp every summer, plus day camps, church camps, vacation bible schools, I was always being handed over to "Christian" strangers and left without protection.

Around the age of 12 my dad was transferred to TI in Temple, Texas which is only a stones throw away from Killeen, Texas and the notorious Fort Hood. During my brief two year stint in this town things got really weird. I started disassociating pretty heavily on a regular basis - mostly after school. My mom would come home and find me in a disassociated zombie-like staring state of which I have no memory of. My friends and I also got super into the occult during this time (seemingly out of nowhere, although I think it's pretty normal for young girls to play "witches.") A friend's legal guardian also started buying us alcohol at 12 years old and we would regularly get drunk and watch Disney movies. Totally normal! (Not.)

Things started getting dicey for Texas Instruments in the late 90's and my dad was eventually laid off. By then we lived in a suburb of Dallas and life was super ultra normal from that point on. The damage, however, had already been done and I spent the first 15ish years of my adult life addicted to drugs and alcohol. I had a near death experience at 23 and afterwards I "woke up" to the true ways of the world. I had no context for it though, and it all really freaked me out, so I put myself back to sleep (with drugs and alcohol) until my early 30's when I woke up again. This time I stayed awake and about 5 years ago I experienced a full blown kundalini awakening - while at a party on LSD in an old switchboard building hosted by Freemasons. Was my kundalini an organic experience or brought about by directed frequencies? Who knows! But I'm awake now, and my past looks much different through this awakened lens.

So these are a few stories from my strange childhood growing up adjacent to government/military/cult happenings. No where near as traumatizing as other stories I've heard, but strange nonetheless. Let me know if any of this resonates with you or if you experienced anything similar as I love to connect with others!

 
Posted : August 8, 2021 2:08 PM
xjdjalwkebkakns
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***For those who like to go even further out there ~ my mom used fertility treatments to have me and her doctor chose the date and time I was born which resulted in a very intense cancerian stellium. Those familiar with Tacistocky-mind control elite woo woo stuff may know that (for whatever reason) gemini and cancerian sun/moon signs seem to hold some sort of significance.

 
Posted : August 8, 2021 2:19 PM
fifthcolumn
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AlienneSlam wrote:
stellium

This is HARDCORE, babe. It's babe, right? That plant photo screams chick.

How are you so well put together, now? After the childhood you describe? You sound positively matter-of-fact about it. Sound stronger than me.

That Kundalini thing enlighten you long-term? Give you some insight into forgiveness? That would seem like the big hurdle for me.

You don't gotta answer any a my questions. Just curious.

You are far more powerful than they will ever tell you.

 
Posted : August 8, 2021 6:46 PM
xjdjalwkebkakns
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This is HARDCORE, babe. It's babe, right? That plant photo screams chick.

lol, yep, it's a babe ๐Ÿ™‚

How are you so well put together, now? After the childhood you describe? You sound positively matter-of-fact about it. Sound stronger than me.

Hmm, that's a good question. I'm a poly addict so I can become addicted to pretty much anything, even OTC stuff like Benadryl - anything that takes me out of my natural state of being, so sobriety has been a real key for me. I still smoke weed and occasionally take psychedelics, but for the most part I have no choice but to stay focused on mind+body+soul if I want to stay sane. Daily mediation, exercise, cooking for myself and maintaining a healthy (low to no sugar) diet keeps my brain clear, journaling has helped a lot. It's been a long road and I've only fully come into myself over the past 5 years so it's still new to me. But overall, I think the key to processing the trauma is to realize and accept it wasn't my fault; and now I have to basically re-parent myself and teach myself all of the things my parents neglected. Pretty much every day I wake up I literally have to tell my wounded inner children to sit back and relax because the adult will be taking over today - if I fail to do this it usually results in a day of unwarranted anxiety because the inner children suck at adulting. It sounds crazy but its made a world of a difference!

That Kundalini thing enlighten you long-term? Give you some insight into forgiveness? That would seem like the big hurdle for me.

Yes, very much so! I heard sounds I'd never heard before, saw angels and blue aliens, the ceiling opened up and we could see the stars.. all kinds of magical stuff happened that changed my worldview forever. It also sent me on a long ass journey to figure out wtf had happened because I knew nothing about kundalini prior to the experience. I had to start from scratch and figure it all out (still figuring it out btw!) - but I sort of think that "figuring it out" is part of my job here. I have karmic debt 19/1 which means I abused spiritual knowledge and power in a past life (sounds about right coming from a Freemie family) so I feel like part of my karmic punishment was to be born into a situation where magic didn't exist and then I had to find it/relearn it.

 
Posted : August 9, 2021 12:39 PM
fifthcolumn
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Damn, man. Sounds like poly addict ain't nearly as fun as it sounds. Gotta salute your regimen and success.

Not your fault. Pisses me off. What a fuckin mind job you can do on a kid.

Yeah babe, I think we've got the same map. Just different languages. You parent your inner children and I reprogram my subconscious mind. Sounds like the same thing. I lucked out and didn't hafta do the heavy lifting you did. Anybody who tells ya what you're doing sounds crazy, doesn't understand how the world works.

Yeah, man! Nobody makes a roadmap for this kinda shit. Gotta figure it all out on your own. I once had a reader tell me I had a past life as an aztec priest cuttin hearts outta people and chuckin em off the pyramids. So ye olde Karmic Debt from Abusing Spiritual Power has some echo for me. But fuck thinkin about what you owe, right? Just take as much ground as you can during this lifetime. That's how I see it.

Damn fine to meet ya, babe!

Some of my best parenting techniques for my inner children:

"He's a young soul."

"This is a test."

And archons.

You are far more powerful than they will ever tell you.

 
Posted : August 9, 2021 10:28 PM
nickzeptepi
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Gosh, some of the resultant symptoms like the dissociation i can resonate with - in the last year i had a couple of repeats where i would loose time and eye sight after a trigger. Sounds like you've had a different casuses but yea drugs and stuff is a coping mechanism to suppress whats stored up in your unconscious -
I'm older than you and had a really bad time 35+ for a few years - like suicidal programming - but i puled through or the couldn't kill me and i was to lazy to kill myself!!
Glad to hear your on a path pointing in the right directions - from my experience, now your on that path just keep going the universe will help, open doors etc etc and there will be occasional tests to see how your doing.
What also helped me was having a gnostic world view - personal responsibility for my foundations of belief - not being told i am this or that or to do this or that becaue god or other authority said so etc etc.

and Jung - his approach to individuation and being the Self thas in you - and it helps deal with all those weird childhood things - that I also had - missing time - strangers having some sort of influential power over me, and for me it was the devouring mother that was a huge cause and also the huge pressure to never ever question her, or share emotions or feelings - I had to bottle all those up and stuff them down in the muscles as suppressed memories.

I've posted previously of most of this stuff - search and their might be some useful or helpful stuff.

 
Posted : August 9, 2021 11:55 PM
xjdjalwkebkakns
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Pleasure to meet you as well! I will say being a poly addict was a lot of fun when I didn't care whether or not I lived or died lol. Sounds morbid as fuck, but there were lots of good times.

And yes, thank you, it was not my fault - and that's really been the key to healing. I think I have an easy time sharing my story because I know there are TONS of people out there who experience the same kind of crap, but many of them never come to grips with what they've been put through. Hopefully sharing my story opens that door for others out there.

Definitely the same map! Learning to address the subconscious and no longer allow the traumatized parts of myself to be in the driver seat every day has changed the game. When it comes to fight/flight/freeze, I'm a freezer, so the traumatized parts kept me in a frozen catatonic state for years. I thought I was just a lazy piece of shit, but now I know better... so I'm becoming better. That's about all I can ask for.

That's a wild past life story! Have you ever had any dreams or anything relating to it? Karmic debt is a trip, and I know everyone carries some of it even if their numerology doesn't directly show it. At first, finding out I was a jerk in a past life was really upsetting, but I've learned a lot by studying myself and my behavior from the perspective of someone who needs to learn lessons, and now I'm a-ok with accepting it. I'm also open to ALL possibilities when it comes to woo-stuff, so it's not lost on me that the karmic debt could be here for a number of reasons - like maybe I was the one in my soul family who was strong enough to take on the task of incarnating to clear the karmic debt?

"He's a young soul."

"This is a test."

And archons.

My wounded inner children say, "thank you!" and YES to archons... even though I honestly have a hard time grasping the whole archon concept (thanks to the karmic debt/magical block that I have to work through) but I'm learning!

 
Posted : August 10, 2021 12:42 PM
fifthcolumn
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Doesn't everybody go through a phase like that? Not caring whether you live or die? My mantra was "A merry life and a short one."

And I ain't tellin ya it ain't your fault. You know that shit already. I was marveling at the subconscious programming that a parent can instill in a child. Alotta times without even consciously trying. Ain't anywhere near fair.

"I'm becoming better. That's about all I can ask for."

Nope. That's how you win the game, gorgeous. Every day just little better. Or at least... every week... Ups and downs, but if that general trend is rising? You are winning the fucking game.

So that aztec past life thing still bugs me. I choose not to believe it. No empowerment there. But I got other ones that I believe in, and they got similar themes. How ya sposed to feel when they tell ya your past life had a large hand in wiping out the "Bogomil heresy?"

I think it was kinda similar to forgiving myself for all the bullshit I did as a kid. It's in the older brother's job description to abuse his power. I was just young man, I didn't understand.

archons are just a way to use polarity to your advantage. They work great if you've got Oppositional Defiant Disorder like me (undiagnosed). You come from a nurturing and parenting perspective. I get it, but there's some shit in me I want wiped out. Not cared for or reasoned with or catered to. Some shit's just all bad.

That's my model. But you seem to be doin everything right, babe! Don't let me stop you!

You are far more powerful than they will ever tell you.

 
Posted : August 10, 2021 5:47 PM
xjdjalwkebkakns
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Doesn't everybody go through a phase like that? Not caring whether you live or die? My mantra was "A merry life and a short one."

I'm not sure about everyone, but I think it's pretty normal for the under 25 brains. At the time I never would have considered myself to be suicidal, but looking back there's no way to deny that I had an underlying death wish. It's a miracle I still have guts after so many years of alcohol and pills. The body is a resilient machine!

Nope. That's how you win the game, gorgeous. Every day just little better. Or at least... every week... Ups and downs, but if that general trend is rising? You are winning the fucking game.

Thanks! I suppose I am winning pretty hard these days. My life drastically improved once the pandemic hit because I was having a hell of a time finding a good job. I was going on interviews non stop but no one ever hired me. ~ Now some people would look at that and say it's because of "my programming" and how "they" are able to keep people from getting good jobs and being able to make something of their lives. I do consider this to be a possibility, because it really was crazy how many interviews I went to without one job offer, but I'm not married to that idea. It's possible I was just dealing with an oversaturated job market. Whatever it was, it sucked, but since the pandemic I've been able to focus on figuring out how to support myself with my art - which is 10 million times more satisfying, even if I'm currently broke as fuck lol

So that aztec past life thing still bugs me. I choose not to believe it. No empowerment there. But I got other ones that I believe in, and they got similar themes. How ya sposed to feel when they tell ya your past life had a large hand in wiping out the "Bogomil heresy?"

Soo, I could be wrong, but personally I feel like if the aztec past life thing were true then it would resonate more with you. I don't necessarily feel good about knowing I abused spiritual knowledge and power, but it resonates with me, ya know? That little bit of info felt like a puzzle piece snapping into place. I would assume if what you were told was true about ripping out hearts and decimating the Bogomils that you, too, would carry some karmic debt, but hey what do I know?? One thing is for sure though, no sense in beating ourselves up over what *could* have happened in past lives, right? We're here now, so to me, that means we've passed our karmic tests!

archons are just a way to use polarity to your advantage. They work great if you've got Oppositional Defiant Disorder like me (undiagnosed). You come from a nurturing and parenting perspective. I get it, but there's some shit in me I want wiped out. Not cared for or reasoned with or catered to. Some shit's just all bad.

Ok so I do typically come from the nurturing perspective - mainly just because I was poisoned twice before I was 2-3 years old and sexually abused before age 8, so I have several little parts of me that feel super neglected and unprotected. Those parts need some serious nurturing, however, there are other parts of me that just need to go away. I still have the addictive little beast inside of me, and that little shithead still dreams about doing drugs all the time (which is torture) so I would LOVE to see that part of me gone for good. No clue how to do that though!

 
Posted : August 11, 2021 1:04 PM
fifthcolumn
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"The body is a resilient machine!"

Yeah, babe, that's part of the whole lie of entropy. There is not a cell in your body older than 18 months. Every cell in your body dies off and is replaced every year and a half. Your body is a machine that is in CONSTANT renewal. It's its job. Western medicine needs to make the body do what it wants, rather than assist it in doing what it already does best.

"but since the pandemic I've been able to focus on figuring out how to support myself with my art."

Mind me askin what you do?

"... personally I feel like if the aztec past life thing were true then it would resonate more with you."

I like how you think, babe. It totally isn't true. I'd resonate harder. That tarot reader was probably a descendent a one a those miserable, low-life Bogomil cocksuckers.

"so I would LOVE to see that part of me gone for good. No clue how to do that though!"

I would guess it's something that never goes all the way away. Just gets easier and easier. I'd think you'd need to have a mindset of pride when dealing with it. Like "I'm stronger than this." Get to a place where you see taking more drugs as a wounding of your pride and personal integrity. An assault on the character you've built and your own goals.

I kinda got to that place quittin liquor.

You are far more powerful than they will ever tell you.

 
Posted : August 11, 2021 10:19 PM
xjdjalwkebkakns
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"Western medicine needs to make the body do what it wants, rather than assist it in doing what it already does best."

THIS. Especially when it comes to women's bodies. Western medicine does one thing well and that's trauma care, beyond that the "medicine" they practice is really just systematic abuse. I was put through the ringer in my 20's trying to get help for endometriosis (part of why I was so addicted to drugs because I have legit health issues and can get whatever I want from docs.) The only "treatment" they offered was to chemically induce menopause - in my 20's lol - or experimental surgery. It's total bullshit. And sadly, more and more I see women accepting (and celebrating) this bullshit as actual medical care. I digress! But fuck the medical industry.

"Mind me askin what you do?"

I make weird electronic music and run a little record label for other people who make weird electronic music. The stuff I make is in the vein of Chicago house, Detroit techno, and Italo disco, but it's really just a strange mishmash of everything I'm into. I don't have music training or anything like that, I technically can't even play the keyboards, but I can program drum machines and synthesizers all day every day so somehow it works for me. It's probably more so a form of channeling than officially writing music, but whatever. Over the past year I've been tirelessly working away on a laundry list of projects and releases. I'm a diehard DIYer (mostly by necessity) so it's a time consuming process but it's going to pay off if I can hang in there! What kind of stuff are you into?

"Get to a place where you see taking more drugs as a wounding of your pride and personal integrity. An assault on the character you've built and your own goals."

Awake Me is totally on board with this and agrees 100%. Dream Me still loves to hit the streets looking for pills which sets in cravings that Awake Me has to spend time trying to shake off. It's super annoying and I'm not sure how to get Dream Me to chill the fuck out on the drug seeking stuff. I've been trying to dream journal and find ways to become better in tune with that stuff but I haven't had a ton of luck!

 
Posted : August 12, 2021 1:14 PM
fifthcolumn
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AlienneSlam wrote:
THIS. Especially when it comes to women's bodies. Western medicine does one thing well and that's trauma care, beyond that the "medicine" they practice is really just systematic abuse.

Yeah, babe. You're speaking my language. I was trying to be diplomatic, but I'm full scale behind ya on this.

You fucking children coming up just behind us ruined techno with your schisms and labels. I resented having to learn them so I didn't. I like 90's gen rave techno. La Bouche / Real McCoy era. Best band in the whole world is VNV Nation.

So I do a little word magic, babe. I'm wondering if some of the words you use might be hindering you. Check it out - Awake You is your self-actualizing mind, with plans and hopes and dreams. Dream You only wants to escape.

Awake You is becoming more than your circumstances would have made of you. Dream You wants to let those scumbags who hurt you decide the plot of the rest of your life. Dream You thinks you should be the listless result of their behavior, and Awake You is the only one fighting to make your story yours.

Dream You sounds like a dick, man.

You shouldn't give that part of you such an honorable name. Dream You? More like Matrix You. Or Shitty Old Programming You. Or even better - Them. Their You. Find some name that pisses you off enough that when your sabotaging cravings hit you can say something unintelligible and magical. Like "Up yours, Their Me."

That's how I'd play it.

You are far more powerful than they will ever tell you.

 
Posted : August 12, 2021 8:09 PM
xjdjalwkebkakns
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fifthcolumn wrote:
Yeah, babe. You're speaking my language. I was trying to be diplomatic, but I'm full scale behind ya on this.

You fucking children coming up just behind us ruined techno with your schisms and labels. I resented having to learn them so I didn't. I like 90's gen rave techno. La Bouche / Real McCoy era. Best band in the whole world is VNV Nation.

So I do a little word magic, babe. I'm wondering if some of the words you use might be hindering you. Check it out - Awake You is your self-actualizing mind, with plans and hopes and dreams. Dream You only wants to escape.

Awake You is becoming more than your circumstances would have made of you. Dream You wants to let those scumbags who hurt you decide the plot of the rest of your life. Dream You thinks you should be the listless result of their behavior, and Awake You is the only one fighting to make your story yours.

Dream You sounds like a dick, man.

You shouldn't give that part of you such an honorable name. Dream You? More like Matrix You. Or Shitty Old Programming You. Or even better - Them. Their You. Find some name that pisses you off enough that when your sabotaging cravings hit you can say something unintelligible and magical. Like "Up yours, Their Me."

That's how I'd play it.

lol sorry about the labels ruining the fun. I only specify because these days people assume making electronic music equates to producing EDM ~ which I do not. (Because I do not make mind control music;) - even though it's all mind control music, right? That's a whole other thread. But EDM is on another level and I don't go there.) Love La Bouche, Real McCoy and VNV Nation though!

I also love the word magic stuff; thank you for the hot tips. You're 100% right that the words I use hinder me. I've briefly delved into quantum languaging but I'm still learning how to recognize the traps I set for myself.

Referring to that part as the Matrix Me is right up my alley because when it comes to astrology I tend to ride the wave that tropical astrology is a representation of us within the matrix while Vedic shows more of who we are outside of the matrix. A big part of my practice is trying to balance the two in order to have peaceful abundance within the matrix while staying connected to what's real.

And, yes, Matrix Me is a dick. She's boring as fuck, too.

If you don't mind me asking, what other kinds of magic stuff are you into? A month ago I re-negotiated my soul contract, and since then the magical realm has popped off. Now I'm doing a 30 day consistency challenge and hopefully things will keep building from here.

 
Posted : August 13, 2021 1:33 PM
fifthcolumn
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"lol sorry about the labels ruining the fun."

I don't think any fun was lost. It just bugs me that I love techno so much and can't speak intelligently about it. But I lived in San Diego briefly in the 90's. Scanned a local paper for places to go dancing. Found a club called "Soil." List of music was like industrial, goth, punk, etc. Last two on the list were "Batcave and Necrotech."

Forced my gangsta rap, reggae white boy roommate to escort me. Turns out we weren't dressed for it. Go figure. They let us in anyway and I had fun. But my boy couldn't vibe. Everybody starin at him. One cape and the whole night coulda gone different. But I wound up orchestrating my own cockblocking by bringin him. Maneuvered my own self outta some righteous necrotech poontang.

Hey, babe. This EDM aggression will not stand... man. What do you know that I don't?

"I also love the word magic stuff; thank you for the hot tips."

You just made my day.

"tropical astrology is a representation of us within the matrix while Vedic shows more of who we are outside of the matrix."

That's interesting! Never thought about that. Vedic stuff never hit with me, I should relook.

"If you don't mind me asking, what other kinds of magic stuff are you into? "

I'm big on ascension. The magic stuff is all balls, but it has risks. Once you start becoming more 'magical' you start makin waves on the other side. Shit gets interested in you that was never interested before. Good and bad. If you take the time to perfect your mind, you become less vulnerable to the predators you might attract.

Ascension is king. It is your defense against the dark arts. Build yourself into something that is unassailable. It is an EXTREMELY magical process. The problem is it requires people to judge and be honest with themselves (something you seem quite gifted at) and nobody wants to admit they're doing it wrong. But if you can enter into a process of weeding out your weaknesses and negative bullshit, the enemy has no toe hold. He can't gain purchase in your mind when you've left him nothing to hang on to.

You ever wanna talk ascension, you let me know.

30 day consistency challenge sounds a lot harder than poly addict, dude. Also sounds like ascension. Kick ass and take names.

You are far more powerful than they will ever tell you.

 
Posted : August 14, 2021 8:59 PM
xjdjalwkebkakns
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Ah yeah, well you're not alone because I honestly can't speak very intelligently about techno either. I'm in my late 30's so I pretty much missed the whole thing as it was happening and didn't discover "the good stuff" until the past ten years or so. I just like to make music and don't really care what genre it is. I never sought out to make techno or house, it just happens to be what I'm good at. Sorry to hear about the lost necrotech poontang though lol.

As far as the EDM aggression goes, where do I start? JK JK. I am not an advocate for hating on peoples' personal preferences so this is no hate/shame to anyone who enjoys EDM, but from a producers perspective EDM doesn't carry the same soul as other genres. Techno and house are about the relationship between the producer (the human) and the machines; it's about using electricity, frequency and waves as a medium. EDM is like the AI of electronic music. It sounds good, it looks good, it can do lots of flashy things, but it doesn't have a lot of soul. The amount of $$$ that EDM brings in says a lot about its roots/intentions, too. And not to say this exact same thing wasn't done with techno in the 90's (because it was!) but imagine the hold "they" can get on people when they fill them up with LSD/Molly and pump them full of frequencies. Personally, I think it creates a false sense of spirituality - exactly how churches create the "feeling of god" in their congregations every week using music and lights - and ya know... it is not lost on me that most of the festival EDM people (also Burners) are currently the ones begging for mandates. Plenty of techno heads have been sucked into the hell hole as well, but the typical Burner/EDM folk seem to be particularly frightened of the pandemic and devoted to the government. <-- totally just my observation though!

Totally not trying to get you to check out my music lol but if you want to for the sake of context you can find it at mress.bandcamp.com (just ignore the blurry logo I keep forgetting to change it)

Vedic stuff never hit with me, I should relook.

Same. I've always been very attached to my identity as a cancer and rejected any notion that I could be a gemini. Now when I start to cancer-out and get in my shell I remind myself that I'm actually a very social gemini and it helps keep some balance.

But if you can enter into a process of weeding out your weaknesses and negative bullshit, the enemy has no toe hold. He can't gain purchase in your mind when you've left him nothing to hang on to.

I love this and I think it's what I've (slowly but surely) been working at? I do a lot of protection work because I live in a dangerous part of the city but also because I don't want some scary shit from the other side coming at me. Last year I had a lot of nightmares - specifically about Jeffrey Epstein? lol I laugh because it sounds weird, but I swear he was taunting me in my dreams. After that I had to put more effort into spiritual hygiene and protecting myself. I feed the House Spirits and sometimes they talk back which can be a little unnerving but overall I feel safe and protected. I also have a 14 year old cat who watches out for me like it's nobody's business.. I truly believe she's my main line of defense. (Which means I better get my shit together and have myself fully protected before she's gone.)

You ever wanna talk ascension, you let me know.

Always down! I have no one in my personal life to toss this stuff around with so feel free to share. When you say ascension do you mean it in the sense of moving upwards through dimensions or what?

 
Posted : August 15, 2021 2:17 PM
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