Dearest Gregory Carlwood,
I regret to inform you, but this will be my last blog.  I listened to last weeks episode on Monday the 4th, the day after it was posted.  Admittedly, it was life changing in several ways.
As a 28 year old husband and father, having listened to your show with James Colquhoun, I faced a harsh truth and put my entire life into perspective.
You have known me for a long time.  Upon graduation in 2003, I weighed in at at hearty 275 lbs.  Mid 2004, my longtime girlfriend left me (good riddance) and I fell into a state of depression.  I wound up dropping 60 lbs. in a few short months and hit a plateau.  Since then,  my weight has bounced between 205 & 235… At one point (whilst driving my truck “over the road”) I hit as high as 245, but lost the excess within a few weeks of working locally.
So, here I’ve been, battling between 205 & 230 the last two years… Smoking two packs per day, eating fat food two to for times per week,  eating sandwiches and deep fried goodies from truck stops around Missouri, drinking close to two liters of diet soda per day, two energy drinks per day, and eating little to no vegetables our fruits hardly at all.
It wasn’t only my physical health, though… But, also my mental health.  I’ve been unhappy.  You see, I’m a “thinker,” always pondering, planning, reading articles, etc etc.  Since about a year after high school, I haven’t really had one particular hobby or interest; rather several interests and no real hobbies.  Nothing that I have tried or really accomplished.  I have my wife whom I love to the ends of this earth, and my three beautiful kids who I am more proud of than I can ever express in words… But, me, personally, I wasn’t okay.  Everyday, I litter my mind and consciousness with bad news.  The Illuminati, NWO, signs from the Heavens, a dozen different doomsday prophecies for each day of the calendar, the corruption of our government, and just what was seeming more and more like the “fall of mankind” have all plagued my mind and thoughts for some time now.  With all of that doom and gloom, I became vulnerable, a prisoner of my own mind, a victim of doomsayers, and someone who shut themselves out from the true beauty that is this life.
Your show is probably the most real show out there in the realm of “conspiracy theory, paranormal  and alternative talk.”  A good ninety-five percent of the shows I was listening to were fear driven and pushed doom and gloom on a regular basis.  Shit, can’t say I blame ’em!  I was hooked!  Your show, on the other hand, seems to look at an issue from every angle.  You are not afraid to ask the questions that could prove whatever topic to be a hoax or a stretch of the truth.  I applaud your bravery in asking the questions other show hosts are afraid to ask.
So, last Monday, I listened to your show with James Colquhoun and was almost forced to take a step back and analyze what I was doing with my life.
I believe you said it best on an episode with Dr Matt Mumber, (ep37) when you mentioned “our” generation and said something in the way of “it isn’t a matter of ‘IF’ we will get cancer, it’s a matter of what kind well we get.”  That episode scared the hell out of me, yet, I did nothing.  I worried, but, didn’t act.  Then came last Monday.
My eyes were opened like never before… Consider it an awakening within an awakening.  I have been very slowly killing myself fir more than ten years.  A poor diet, a lousy smoking habit, a lack of any care to what I drank, a lack of any direction, and overall unhappiness.
So, I began what has been the best thing I have ever done.  Change.  Live a happier, more sustainable life, surround myself with positive feelings and thoughts.
I spoke to my wife the MOMENT your episode was over and told her about what was said.  “I want to change.  I want to be healthy.”  She agreed, and here we are today.  Less than two weeks into it, if is currently 2:00 pm and I haven’t had a cigarette today, I’ve drank 96 oz of water and only one can of diet Mountain Dew, ate a banana and fat free yogurt for breakfast, a fat free tuna “lunch to go” for lunch, my entire body is sore from last nights exercise routine.
I have ONLY listened ONE conspiracy themed podcast since last Tuesday, and that was your most recent episode with the Venus Project.  I’ve completely avoided inducing any fear or negativity by staying off of any conspiracy websites that I often visited several times per day before.
I. Feel. Amazing.
I wake up alert with no need fir energy drinks. I have lost 13 lbs since last week. I no longer contemplate how the “powers that be” might make their next move.  I feel great!  I even started taking the steps toward finally realizing my lifelong dream of becoming a professional wrestler (don’t judge) and started talking to a trainer in the industry.  Here is an email I just sent to him:

My name is Jacob Bender.  I’m 28, a husband and father of three.  I was a die hard wrestling fan from early childhood through my first year of college and have since fallen of the bandwagon… That is until recently.  Myself along with my six six year old daughter have recently began falling (back) down the rabbit hole that is pro wrestling and I stumbled, once again across your company.  My daughters birthday is April 24th and just yesterday she asked if we could go to a wrestling show sometime.  I am more than happy to jump at the opportunity, so we are planning on attending the show this Saturday evening for your event.
I’m very excited and eager to let her see the action up close.  There is nothing quite like the sights, sounds, and hell… Even smells (spilled beer, sweat, blood, etc) of a local show.  I frequented a lot of GCW shows back in the early 2000’s and have always missed the entertainment value of it all.
Wrestling was my lifelong dream, but, I became a victim of circumstance and had to support my family and never had the money to realize this dream before.  Now, however, depending on the price, I may be able to finally start down that path.
I don’t necessarily feel like a failure, I mean, I have a great job that I thoroughly enjoy, but, I want my three kids to have a farther who they can be proud of.  “My daddy drives a tractor trailer” just isn’t enough.  I want to take the necessary steps to become a wrestler.  I’m not looking for fame our fortune, if I never made it out of the Indy circuits, I’d still have a great sense of fulfillment.
I’ve already made some pretty drastic changes in my life to start the process to hopefully lead to a wrestling career/hobby.  I’ve lost 13lbs three last two weeks, began eating more fruits and vegetables and completely avoiding fast food, began exercising and striving to be healthier overall.
Growing up, I participated in speech and debate as well as “drama” groups.  I’ve always felt comfortable in front if an audience and take very well to “improv.”  So, my number one concern would be the physical demands and athleticism involved.
I only wish I could express to you how much these dreams of wrestling have meant to me through the years, I give 110% to EVERYTHING I do, and I vow to give 200% to finally realizing my dream.
I wound up rambling much more than intended, please forgive me.  I look forward to hearing back and seeing your show in person.  Thank you in advance for your time and for keeping the spirit of wrestling alive in this once great Mecca of the pro wrestling industry.#
My life, in a very short time, only two weeks, had taken a DRASTIC change for the better.  I have a new found purpose and a new outlook on life.
I urge your listeners to listen to that episode, to hear every word and do everything they can to apply it to their lives.  For so long, I felt shitty everyday… From the foods I ate to the thoughts I had and the walls I put up that would not allow me to be happy.
There is beauty and joy all around us, we just have to be able to see it and welcome it.  If your listeners consider themselves “awake” and enjoy looking into conspiracy theory, then by all means,  carry on… Just, please, don’t let it keep you from being happy.  Allow yourself to be happy.  Allow yourself to see the joy in life.
Life the golden rule, treat others the way you’d like to be treated.  Stick your neck out there for others and help out wherever you can.  Make an impact, and live your life.
It’s been an honor to blog for your brand, and an even bigger honor to be an occasional co-host.  I will ALWAYS continue to listen to your show and encourage the listeners to do the same.  Listen to the Higherside Chats… And remember to drink your Ovaltine.

Much love,
Jake Bender